Monday, April 30, 2012

Down and out...

Well I'm not going to lie, this past month has been hard.  We are quickly approaching the anniversary date of my dad passing (May 3rd) and April last year was the ABSOLUTE WORST.  Seeing your VERY STRONG dad wither away yet still believing he could come back and be his normal self and then to get a call from your sister to tell you he's not going to make it...well, let's just say it was down right awful and thinking about it all makes me cry.   I miss him more than words can express and I think about him every day.

April this year has been a whirlwind.  Mainly revolving around Bennett's placement for preschool next year.  I've been emotional, grumpy and down right mean lately.  But I think a lot of it has to do with me missing my dad and just remembering this time last year.

However, I'm REALLY good at busying myself when things are bothering me.  Harper turns 5 on May 2nd so getting ready for her party has definitely kept my mind off of things I'd rather not think about.  Not to mention I've taken on the biggest project to date of mine- redoing the screened in porch so that's kept me very busy as well.

It's weird because I think I thrive on stress or drama (depends on who you're talking to;))- I get bored very easily if I don't have something huge going on or something to keep me running around but I also tend to crumble under stress.   But then I'm also a perfectionist so it's not really a good combo I have going on, is it?

Either way, I haven't done much blogging because I've been in this funk and 99% of it is self induced stress but I think it's my dad's passing that's throwing it all off.  Just don't feel like writing or posting lots of pics and I'm not going to pretend I'm super happy because I'm not, I'm sad about it but I'll get over it soon.

Key things that are coming together and will help me get out of this funk:

  • Harper's fairy party is Saturday and ya'll know how much I love to do b-day parties!  I wasn't going to do one for Bennett this year but changed my mind on that because I really enjoy the planning and decorating and all that-lol.
  • Bennett's preschool placement.  All these evaluations have about sent me over the edge!  No official word yet but our big IEP meeting is May 3rd and we pretty much already know the school he got into but it's not "official".   This school has limited spots and we were beginning to think Bennett didn't have one. Let me just tell you I have agonized over this for almost a year now.  I really feel like part of God's plan and our move down to NC was so Bennett could go to this school.  Every time I think about this school I get all emotional and I'm just so thankful I'm finally at peace with the decision.  We just need to be told by the county that they will support it. 
  • My porch-lol!  Mike and I LOVE sitting out on the porch and while there was nothing really wrong with it before, I just felt it needed my touch;)  BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS.  Literally.  Well not so much tears but definitely blood and sweat and a lot of frustration but I'll share and explain when it's finally complete!
  • Preschool graduation for Harper, her starting kindergarten, the beach etc.
Anyways, that's what's going on with me.  I'll leave you with a few recent pics of the kids because even though they drive me crazy at times when I'm feeling down or stressed, they also make me very happy;)
Ainsley and Harper in their dance costumes and all dolled up:

Bennett just chillin' and having a good ole' time on the (almost finished) porch!  Fairy wand and all...

I'll be back soon, promise!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012